Here is the scenario; you are sitting at the table with your daughter and she refuses to eat more. What is your goal? The goal is for her to eat one more bite than she wants. Not three, five or ten; just one more bite. This may not sound like a great achievement, but it is.
When you meet this goal, you are communicating to your daughter that you will help her recover no matter what. You are telling the eating disorder that its days are numbered.
Even if you don’t say so, your daughter will be relieved that she will find that you are strong enough to deal with the eating disorder. You are showing her that you have the confidence and ability to re-feed her.
What I am going to say is very important. Do not miss it. You and your spouse must be absolutely in tune with this process. If you look at one of you as the weak link, the eating disorder will take advantage of that, slip through the rift, and get in the way of progress.
If you and your spouse disagree, my suggestion is to seek help and / or involve another adult you trust. It is ideal if two parents or adults can work together, but many times we do not have the ideal. You can still use this process if there is only one parent doing the feedback, but it is more of a challenge.
Simply put, this is the process. You sit at the table, one parent on either side of your daughter, and you work with her to take one more bite of what she wants. One bite, that’s all. Keep doing this at meal times, and little by little you will regain the ground that the eating disorder has stolen from you and your daughter.
I don’t want it to sound so easy, because it isn’t. But you have the ability to go back to feeding your daughter. You love her more and you know her better. You can help her bite by bite.
I highly recommend that you read more articles, do more research, and / or speak with a professional therapist or trainer before implementing it. As they say; “Don’t do this at home” without learning more.
It’s like everything new you learn. You don’t take your first swimming lesson and then you’re going to jump to the bottom. You keep taking lessons until you have the confidence and ability to swim. You are more likely to be successful when you have more information and guidance. This knowledge is a great first step in helping your daughter recover. Now build it and learn more.
Written by Lynn A Moore